Brujita

D ear baby boy,   Or Cole, or Myles, or basically any underlying dreams that I have yet to be in tune with.   I had just found out about you today, and I'm not really quite sure how to react.   I guess I'm still in denial that God works so mysteriously and yet so clearly.   How? How would I have known that it was out of place and that a few weeks ago we were in a decent place? I mean decent enough to conjure you here to me.   I guess this was his way of telling me that it wasn't going to last, or maybe I am being punished because I am trying too hard to love someone who can't see into my soul?   I knew something was off, I knew it in the pit of my stomach that I was feeling off, but in a good way. I started smiling again, I started laughing again, I even started to fall for your daddy slowly and yet all so suddenly.   However, as they like to call "Women's intuition" I knew that there was a disconnect between us, happening all over again.   Was it...

W hen reality kicks in, and you find yourself waking up alone again, please don't roll over and go back to sleep. No, that is too easy. Make sure you wake up and bask in the emptiness of where my body used to lay. Take in the coldness of the bed. Grasp the moment you realize I am no longer there to wrap your cold, oh so very cold feet up against mine. Or how about you linger on the fact that you'll never wake up to my face and embrace again. No, you see the thing is, if you fall back asleep, you win. You get to live the pretend life, and then you get to lay your head and rest. And when you dream, well, you get to see yourself every night in your truest form, from the deepest desire of your subconscious, but in reality, I'm not around to see. Then you wake up again.